First two pages of my Parable story...

Mike Laughead · Post by **Mike Laughead** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:33 am

I just finished the ten page story and thought I should post the first two pages here. (You will have to buy the anthology to read it all, along with some other stellar work.)

Any critiques of my style, color choice, or drawing is welcom.

Rad Sechrist · Post by **Rad Sechrist** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:41 am

Wow, that looks really nice!

ChadTHX1138 · Post by **ChadTHX1138** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:05 pm

No kidding that looks awesome! Cant wait to see the rest.

Mike Laughead · Post by **Mike Laughead** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:10 pm

Thanks guys. I'm not sure when the anthology is coming out. Mike Maihack is editing it all together, getting the funding, being awesomely supportive, etc. We should ask him when he thinks the final books are going to come out.

Seth Wolfshorndl · Post by **Seth Wolfshorndl** » Mon Apr 30, 2007 9:58 pm

Looks great, Mike. I remember the first page from the Parable forum, but it's nice to see the second page, too. Your style is just dang fun to look at... real pleasing to the eye. I like how you focus on shapes, not lines. And I'm curious to where the story is going to go...

Can't wait to see the whole thing!

-Seth

hanzo · Post by **hanzo** » Tue May 01, 2007 10:29 am

Your style is just great! There is something sublte in the way you draw! too bad the antology might be difficult to find here in europe...

JakeKalsbeek · Post by **JakeKalsbeek** » Tue May 01, 2007 11:11 am

Mike this is terrific! You draw awesome noeses. I'm really digging that pose you drew the character with the glasses in the first page in the first panel. You really captured that sort of awkward feeling of being in the water fully dressed.

I have one critique/question, why did you chose to cut off the character in panel two on page two so much (the panel where she says "The water is fine. You can bring her in.")? Honestly it didn't stick out or stop the flow of the story the first time through, but the during my second reading I noticed it. You could have a really good reason for this that is revealed latter on in the story. Also I'm no comic pro so you could be doing something that is way above me so I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on this panel.

-Jake

kidnemo · Post by **kidnemo** » Tue May 01, 2007 12:10 pm

I like this quite a bit.

I will also second your control over noses, specifically the coloring.

Woo!

Mike Laughead · Post by **Mike Laughead** » Tue May 01, 2007 12:41 pm

Thank you everyone. I do enjoy drawing noses.

JakeKalsbeek:

I think I cut her off for space reasons. I didn't give myself enough space to include her dialog and her face. This is one of those things that I would probably fix if I had the time, but the deadline has passed so it is how it is...

Maybe I should have more people edit my stuff before I finish it.

FLIGHT FORUMS

First two pages of my Parable story...

First two pages of my Parable story...

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