FLIGHT

Hi,

This is page 14 of a comic book I'm working on and I hoped to get some feedback from you guys.

This is the first page I've colored (because I really like the line art) and I like it, but I feel there's something not right. My goal is to not use any black accept for some of the line work in the foreground. Only now it all looks a little pale and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I really like to hear what you all think and please let me know if you have some other comment/critique about this page.

Groetjes,
Joost.

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www.joosthaakman.com

Here's the next page of my comic.

I forgot to mention what its about. First of all it's going to be a story for kids (6 years and older) and it’s about a gnome who is going to the forest for the first time. Before he gets there he has to overcome a few obstacles and when he eventually gets there he will find that not everything is as he imagined.

Oh, and please feel free to give any comment/critique that you might have.

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www.joosthaakman.com

Well, here's the next page.

I guess the good part of having no comments on a thread is that you can see all the pages together, without having to scroll a lot.

All comments and critiques are much appreciated.

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www.joosthaakman.com

This comic is pretty good I like the last one when the're playing lepfrog

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http://slasher12.deviantart.com/
http://kjimagery.blogspot.com/

Thank you KJones! I'm glad you like it! Because of your positive comment I finished the next page faster than normal!

Here it is. Enjoy!


(The big spot on all the strawberries has turned out a bit to orange, I need to tweak that a little bit.)[EDIT tweaked it a little bit, I think it looks much better now]

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www.joosthaakman.com

Nice, vibrant colors! I like the feel of this.

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Thanks Seth! I do my best!

Next page coming up in a few days.

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www.joosthaakman.com

This comic is really getting intersting and I love vibrant colors in comic.

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http://slasher12.deviantart.com/
http://kjimagery.blogspot.com/

I think you're definitely succeeding with the colored linework - I've been trying out similar techniques. Here, it adds a lot of depth to the illustrations. Early on, you mention that it seems pale and washed out to you, but I disagree - I think it makes it seem brighter and sunnier. Of course if you aren't satisfied with that you can try boosting the saturation of all the colors to brighten them.

--M

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Thank you Kjones! I've visited your website a wile back and if I remember correctly you like to use some vibrant colours as well.

Thanks M, for your upbeat response! Now that I read your comment I realize the colours aren't pale at all. Maybe I just need to make some of them quite a bit darker just so it has more contrast. I'll try that on the next page.

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www.joosthaakman.com

It took a little more time than expected but here it is! The next page!

I tried a different shading technique so it looks a bit more like Sem and Bear are walking in de shade under the trees. I think it works out fine, but please let me know what you think!

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www.joosthaakman.com

If you want a critique, I'd say it's feeling a bit flat. Your avoidance of black and use of all these desaturated colors kind of gives the impression that everything is in the front frame of the panel.

I think you can still get the effect you want, but add some darker shadows and hues to introduce a bit more depth.

For example, where they are walking in front of the trees, the treeline to me looks like it's just floating in the middle of the panel. If you look at the three trees on each side leading to the back, they all get the same treatment, when really the ones closer to the light would look different, and the ones further away would be less saturated and maybe less focused.

I think part of the problem is I'm unsure of your light source. It seems that there's all this ambient light, but I don't know where the main source is - even if it's the sun.

Lighting and depth are tough things to do right, and I'm certainly no expert, but that's what I'm seeing.

However, it does look nice.

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Marooned - A Space Opera in the Wrong Key!
http://www.maroonedcomic.com/

Thanks Marooned! That's verry constructive criticism you are giving there. Now that you mention it, I guess I don't really think about where my light source is coming from or what kind of light source it is. I always seem to let the light come from the upper left corner, sun, lamp, any light source. I'm going to work on that!

I'm glad you also think it looks nice.

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www.joosthaakman.com

So here's the next page. On this page I wanted to do two things, one I wanted to show that Semmie and Bear lost each other. And two I wanted to make the transition from a sunny forest day to a dark and rainy afternoon all in one page.

Let me know what you think!

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www.joosthaakman.com

really beautiful simplicity in this stuff man. keep churning it out!

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