Burrito and Game Night

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Ainsmar
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Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 11:15 am

Burrito and Game Night

Post by Ainsmar » Sat May 24, 2008 11:27 am

Okay guys and gals, this is my first ever fully colored comic page and my first attempt at a single page short.

Anyway, I'd really like some critique on this. I'm still really inexperienced in the world of comicing and I'll take any help I can get.

Image

PS: The lack of character identification at the end was intentional.

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Ben Montgomery
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Post by Ben Montgomery » Fri Aug 15, 2008 9:22 am

That's cool how you told a whole story in that short amount of time. I dig stuff like this.
"Many can Bullshit; few can write."
-- Dr. Gardner, Associate Professor of English, University of North Alabama

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:46 am

yeah, i like it. It's a nice fragment of a thing that works as a whole.

a couple of typos there ('becasue'), and not entirely sure the 'you've been caught one cane' bubble makes sense as i read it.

I like your drawing, there's a looseness to that's really nice. Not entirely sure what's going on with the noses, though - especially the tall guy - they look like they have a bandaid on or something?

The last panel looks like you didn't put as much effort into it as the others, or something. While the rest of it is loose, the buildings there just kind of look sloppy, and don't quite fit in with the rest.

And my guess is the small guy wants the games + burritos.

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Sanaril
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Post by Sanaril » Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:51 am

You need some variance on the night sky bg, you could try some easy gradients or something. Right now it's all the same heavy dark and the characters don't stand out at all.

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