Broccoli Face & Paul *Updated 1/15/08*

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taboolie
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Broccoli Face & Paul *Updated 1/15/08*

Post by taboolie » Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:22 am

Here are the inks for the first 2 pages of a comic i'm currently developing - it's sort of a surreal, romantic comedy revolving around Paul, his ex-girlfriend, and his vegetable friend he meets in the fridge...

I know there's not much to go off, but it'd be great to get some feedback off you guys :D will post some colours when I'm happy with them.

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Last edited by taboolie on Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:21 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Don't just think outside of the box - throw the box away!"

- The Imagineers

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tpiro
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Post by tpiro » Thu Nov 29, 2007 2:22 am

Your spotting of blacks is pretty good. The only thing that confused me is the change in shape of the panel borders in page 2 (where it's wavy). Is this supposed to signify something. Maybe it will be obvious once you get into the rest of the story.
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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Thu Nov 29, 2007 4:29 am

I took the wavy panels to mean an event that happened in the past -- like when she broke up with him I think.

KidVideo
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Post by KidVideo » Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:03 am

I thought it ment he was tripping from eating the mushroom. :oops: Taboolie...do you ever eat Taboolie?

KidVideo
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Post by KidVideo » Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:03 am

I thought it ment he was tripping from eating the mushroom. :oops: Taboolie...do you ever eat Taboolie?

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JakeKalsbeek
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Post by JakeKalsbeek » Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:40 pm

I like the atmosphere you created. The pacing has a slow and sleepy feel to it that goes great with his expressions.

I don't know if it was just me but I had to reread the part where he ate the broccoli. I understood it the second time around but for me I think it might have been nice to show him either chewing or bring the broccoli to his mouth before he takes a drink.

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taboolie
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Post by taboolie » Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:59 pm

thanks for the comments guys, sorry about the delayed response... I've been away for the weekend.

tpiro, andrewwales - you got it in one andrew... page 2 panels 6-9 are a flashback, maybe I could keep this in mind when adding colours to make it more obvious.

KidVideo - haha, no he's not tripping on anything - just a panel device I'm trying out to suggest a flashback. Also... no I don't eat taboolie - I stole the name from a Nerf-Herder lyric :P

JakeKalsbeek - thanks, however as I've said above - the wavy panels are in fact a flashback, he doesn't actually eat any broccoli in these 2 pages, seeing the broccoli triggers a flashback (as to why, this will become apparent later on in the story). I'm hoping when I get the colours finished it'll be more obvious :? considering the flash back sequence panels take place at a different time of day - I'm hoping the lighting will help separate the 2 events.

page 3 is coming along well, will hopefully post soon :D
"Don't just think outside of the box - throw the box away!"

- The Imagineers

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taboolie
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Post by taboolie » Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:35 am

Had a go at colouring in the first page, page 2 coming along well. Would be cool to get some critique. You guys think it's working?

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"Don't just think outside of the box - throw the box away!"

- The Imagineers

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taboolie
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Post by taboolie » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:19 pm

...page 2 coloured and lettered. Not quite got the hang of using illustrator for lettering yet. Decided to limit the flashback scene to one colour in the end, the wavy borders didn't seem to make it evident enough as a flashback on their own.

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"Don't just think outside of the box - throw the box away!"

- The Imagineers

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