The Broken Mirror - stuff that is new on page 2. :)

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ElnJJ
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The Broken Mirror - stuff that is new on page 2. :)

Post by ElnJJ » Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:15 am

Sooo... The Broken Mirror is an online graphic novel, which has been running since mid October 2006 and currently has an archive of 114 pages, (at completion I expect this to have grown to circa 750 pages). It is very much based on a novel I have been writing over the past four years and in terms of genre blurs the boundaries between sci-fi, fantasy and romance. It has a distinct plot, although this is just now beginning to unfold; ultimately the comic is character driven as I need for readers to really care for and/or emphasise with these individuals for the overall tale to have the desired impact. It is also far removed from resembling anything in the ever-popular gag a day strip style: there is a large comedic element woven throughout the story, but it is very much dependent on knowledge of personalities and situations.

Anyhow, that preamble aside, obviously, forum posting is done with the hope of exposing work to potential new readers, but I’d also really appreciate some comments and critique on the art, storyline and dialogue.

So here’s a few example pages, aiming to avoid overall spoilers...comments on the thing as a whole should you have time would be even better though . ^______^

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And to JJ’s credit, the new front page (also in the illustrations post, but I reckon it deserves an encore... ;))

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Just as a taster, although of course, as said, I’d love critique on the project as a whole. :)
Last edited by ElnJJ on Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Muffin
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Post by Muffin » Thu Sep 06, 2007 2:17 pm

yay, two new pages!! :D I love this story, I read the whole thing through the other day. Hurry up make more!
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kaos_de_moria
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been reading since it's up

Post by kaos_de_moria » Thu Sep 06, 2007 5:07 pm

hey. cool to see you here. what can i say.

If there is anything to critique at this point -and I probably do not have the right to criticise this, but let me speak my mind anyway- it is two things, which are not really related to "The Broken Mirror".

I) You seem to have trouble finishing things. I was already reading Desert Rocks which at some point went on hiatus because you started a new project. Between Two Worlds doesn't seem finished either and even your Markus and Sanna mini is on hiatus for ages. On the other hand, that is the case for many great online comics. (e.g. check Farley's electric sheep website)

II) I am not sure if I am too happy with how the Between two Worlds story developed. Intriguing start but you seem to have a problem to find a good ending. But hey, that even was the case with Harry Potter :wink:

I really hope you can solve these issues with your newest comic. And hey. Please finish the Markus and Sanna mini comic.

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ElnJJ
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Post by ElnJJ » Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:09 pm

Thanks again Muffin. :D

Kaos: To duck out of this one, I was never involved in Desert Rocks, that's JJ's story; whereas the Broken Mirror is entirely mine. Similarly, I only really edited and added to Between Two Worlds to make it available in English...though there is some epilogue still to come, which should show up shortly.

With regard to Markus and Sanna, those comics should soon be going into print in a newspaper, so we're holding off on publishing on the net until we know the full copyright implications.

Excuses, excuses... ;)
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Kazu
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Post by Kazu » Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:05 pm

This comic looks really nice. Great work! :D
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Threshold
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Post by Threshold » Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:32 pm

Okay, I have to read this tomorrow. Bookmarking.

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andrew fulton
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Post by andrew fulton » Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:01 pm

This looks great, there's a softness to the linework and colours that I think is really nice.
The backgrounds are a little off sometimes, like the beach cave thing and the sea look lovely, but some of the others, like the zoo(?) and the last page look a little underdrawn/underendered or something, although I really like the last, silent page you put up, makes me want to go check out the rest to see what that's about. Lovely and understated.
The word balloons and lettering but me a little. The words seem a little cramped up in the space, and they seem a little.. strong or something. It might just be me, but I prefer these things to sit more organically with the drawing than something blatted over the top, k'now? Also, what's with the inverted pointer on the bubble( second panel, second page )? Is that just because you had no space, or does it signify something?

If is really nice though, I'll go check out the larger thing when I have some reading time.

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kaos_de_moria
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Post by kaos_de_moria » Fri Sep 07, 2007 5:11 pm

Ah well. One should always be aware whom one addresses. sorry for being mistaken. I didn't realise it was teamwork :( I read the about page now and for the future I shall know better.

I hope the Broken Mirror will not suffer the fate of DR. Good luck and keep up the good work :)

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jdalton
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Post by jdalton » Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:29 pm

ElnJJ wrote:...though there is some epilogue still to come, which should show up shortly.
So you keep saying, and yet here we wait. Hmm.

I've been reading TBM page by page as it's posted and I really think it's time I go back and read through the archive again. This is the kind of story that needs to be read in chunks or all at once.
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LetsMeetUpInParadise240
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Post by LetsMeetUpInParadise240 » Sat Sep 08, 2007 3:52 pm

Really beautiful work. I'd love to see the finished product. :)

*sigh*

You've inspired me. I'm going to get back to writing my graphic novel.

If work and class doesn't kill me first. O_O
Remember to breathe.....

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Azad
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Post by Azad » Sat Sep 08, 2007 5:16 pm

Very nice work. I'd use a different font though.
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ElnJJ
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Post by ElnJJ » Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:15 am

Gosh, lots of comments! Thank you to everyone for taking the time to look; I'm in awe of the talent level here, so this really means a lot!

Kazu - Thank you SO much, praise from the man himself! Squee! *goes all starstruck*. ;)

Threshold: Sooo, what did you think? :)

Andrew: The last piece is the most recent effort, art wise, and we're working to get everything up to that standard prior to publication. :) There's a lot of people who've offered critique over time regarding the speech bubbles, so again, this is certainly something we'll be changing before going into print: perhaps lowering the opacity to make them less incongruous with the art. Thanks for your feedback! :)

Kaos: Aw, no need to be sorry! We are, well...(a term that I believe the creators of the TV series 'Red Dwarf' once applied to themselves,) a bit of a gestalt entity, (hence the joint username,) these days. So feel free to tell me off and I'll tell JJ off on your behalf. ;) But no way, TBM will not be suffering a DR style fate. I'm into this for the course. All 750 pages of it. :)

Jack: It's thirty flapping pages, alright? And I want to get them all up together...and I will. Soon, very, very soon. Go write your novel. ;) :p With regard to rereading, we're nearly at the end of Volume One, so that'd be the best time to do it. Chat later! xxx

LMUIP240: Fabness! Love to inspire people. And class, kill you? Nah, I've been a student, you'll be fine. Get scribbling!

Azad: Agreed, we're looking at hand lettering the print editions. And thanks. :)

Once again-again, thank you everyone. You're lovely and you've been really encouraging and helpful. ^^
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Tmara
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Post by Tmara » Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:17 am

I love your comic. The art is very nice and I think the story is interesting too. But I especially like how you pace it all. Your word-less pages and character development through the years. It's a great project and I hope you get to finish it ^^

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Post by William Ward » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:56 pm

Hand Lettering would be cool, but it certainly would be very time consuming. Maybe make a font based on your hand letters. Not exactly the same, but a good look. There are some decent 'hand letter' look fonts as well.

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ElnJJ
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Post by ElnJJ » Mon Sep 17, 2007 1:14 pm

Tmara: Thanks a lot, and I'm glad you enjoy the way the story is paced, it's been a subject of some debate lately, so that's encouraging. :) And we will finish it - I even plan on finishing off Between Two Worlds in the coming week. ;)

Will, that's true and thanks for the links. I'll look into that more when we come to letter the print pages. :)
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