All Eleven Pages of my World War II Comic. Pencils Only

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twconstantine
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Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:27 pm

All Eleven Pages of my World War II Comic. Pencils Only

Post by twconstantine » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:00 am

I re-drew the first two pages...and here is the whole story. Sorry about the new thread, I just wanted a new one to put it all in here...If you want to see the progress, check the other thread.

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Please, give me comments, suggestions, all that!

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Threshold
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Location: Orlando

Post by Threshold » Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:27 pm

Wow, this has a really nice Penny-Arcade feel to it. You've got some good camera angles (for the style) and the characters are all pretty distinguishable from one another (just watch your consistency.) The number of soldiers gets confusing around teh part where they get pinned down with the sniper.
I have one big complaint and that's all: the dialog seems a bit stilted. It's awkward, for example, when the guy with the spades on his head says "Take cover, this is going to be a big one!" He'd probably more likely yell, "Get DOWN!" Likewise, where somebody orders, "Stokes, Horn, Ford, take the objective, MOVE!" a more natural phrase might be "Take that house, now!"
Overall, this is a decent beginning and I'd love to see it inked and colored.

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andrewwales
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Post by andrewwales » Tue Jul 24, 2007 6:18 pm

Really good! I like the characterizations. You had me wanting to know what was going to happen next when I saw the last panel -- which I guess is one of our aims. Have you done any more with this?

You know, I've been looking at some old war comics lately and it's amazing how well they could tell a story in 10 or 11 pages. Characters introduced, story told and finished -- a lot of times with characters that would never be seen again.

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